Experience, they say, is the best teacher but I personally believe that it’s fair to learn from others’ experiences. Why? so you don’t find yourself committing the same mistake and wasting the time of your life in the process. Or you don’t find yourself wanting or on the wrong side of anything.
Lovi Victoria is my name and as a growing child, I learned to accept whatever life gave me. I left everything to chance. And I always paid back those who wronged me. I was cheerful and loving but the worst to those who happened to be on my wrong side.
I wasn’t a born-again Christian at that time. Yet I knew there was someone called Jesus. Two places named Heaven and Hell. I also knew right from wrong. All these I knew and cared less. I was only interested in going to Heaven because I was scared of Hell. Yet, I knew nothing about forgiving and forgetting and kept paying evil with evil and good with good. All I was interested in a relationship was a “because of” and not “in spite of”. In fact, you just couldn’t step on my toes and go scot free even if it meant harming myself.
At times, I often wondered why God made me human and not an animal. When animals die, they neither go to Heaven nor Hell. As a result, they live their lives freely – without a care in the world. So, I was very angry at him.
I remember I tried taking revenge on mom by running out of the house so she pays regretting the rest of her life. I also remember I planned stabbing myself because I was canned. Fortunately or unfortunately, the knives available were blunt so I couldn’t commit the suicide. I then postponed it to any day my mom would buy a new knife. So my plans would be smooth and fast.
How God Foiled My Plans
Mom had in her stuff, when she next arrived from the market, a new shiny knife.
“The day finally is here”, I thought to myself. “Thank God I can now commit the suicide for Mom and Dad to regret their actions bitterly.”
I told Mom I would help her bring out the pieces of stuff. I took few things and added the knife to it. Now: where is the best place to kill myself I wondered. Mom is now in the kitchen. Hence, I walked into my room and as I brought out the knife, fear from nowhere gripped me.
Not the fear of going to hell later but the fear of suffering before I die. The fear of not being able to bear the pain I would go through in the process of dying. Like I said, pain was something I didn’t like going through. So I had to stop myself. God knew my ears were closed to listening to Him but not to Satan. So He used that same seed of fear planted in me by Satan to save me.
I continued living for myself. Making myself happy my own way. Not for Jesus or anyone. Didn’t care what life had to offer me. Was ready and willing to accept anything. I always wished for one thing; for my family to be saved and not be harmed or leave me in any way. I always kept my feelings or emotions to myself but deep down, I loved them very much. More than my life and I still do.
A Life-Changing Revelation
At a point in my life, I started acknowledging God and having reverence for Him. This was because He started showing me how hell was like in dreams. And making me aware that, with my current lifestyle, I wouldn’t make it to Heaven when he comes. In one of the revelations, God actually was watching when Satan took me and was about to throw me into Hell. I cried and begged God for another chance. To spare me and not to throw me into Hell. I knew once I entered Hell, there wouldn’t be a high chance of me coming back. He later decided to give me another chance and commanded Satan to let go of me. When I woke up physically, I prayed and decided to repent. However, I later found myself sinning again.
My sins were not prostitution or jumping from man to man. I was also not a major thief. Neither was I an idol worshiper nor a fornicator. I was still intact in some aspects. I knew I was a sinner because: I liked telling lies, I loved the things of the world, I was super prayer-less, I forsook the gathering of the brethren and most importantly, I had not accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior.
The Call For Me Unto Salvation
To make everything short, I decided to visit a church one evening. My brother had recently joined them. And he told me about speaking in tongues and how he had pledged to be for only Jesus. He told me lots of things that made me interested. So I also left home one evening to join them pray in a park. Also decided to find out how someone who isn’t a pastor can speak in tongues and interpret tongues since all those years, I thought to speak in tongues were only meant for ordained pastors. I again wanted to know how a non-pastor can work miracles and drive out demons.
The moment I got to the park was the night I started experiencing and knowing God. That was the day I met JESUS or let me say Holy Spirit at a higher level – in Man. I didn’t believe it was Jesus. But I kept my thoughts and listened to Him. At a point, I believed but for some other reasons, I didn’t. Maybe because he manifested to me in a form of man and not a spirit. I left the house and later desired only one thing; speaking in tongues. It took a while for me to speak in the Heavenly language after I accepted Christ.
Now am a born-again Christian. Saved by grace. I now forgive everyone because Jesus was able to forgive me. I live for Jesus not myself anymore. The spirit of fear has been deleted from my life forever and yeah I love everyone. My spirit is at peace and is more than happy. Others see me and rededicate their lives to Christ. I am victorious in whatever I do because Jesus does 99% and still helps me with the other 1%. I made the right choice and see, am living a better life. Am blessed to have accepted Christ before His second coming. And am still working on myself daily to not fall into sin.
What about you? why don’t you join me today in making our lives a better one?